My friends, they love my intelligence
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
