Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
