I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just high enough for therapy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
