just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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