I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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