well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
