Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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