Can Purell be used as lube?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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