Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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