I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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