I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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