I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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