Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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