Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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