I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
