Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize