Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
