Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
