wrigley field is MILF paradise
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think your dad took our porno
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
