have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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