Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
