We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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