I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
