So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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