i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
