Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize