You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
