Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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