I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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