I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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