Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
