this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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