sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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