Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
