Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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