how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
