You really coming over, don't trick.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
