I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
