I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
