It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
