if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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