she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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