so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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