Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
