the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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