Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize