Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im six kinds of drunk right now
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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