we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
