Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
