Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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