I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
