I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
