ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
