stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize