Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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