He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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