a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
