There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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