how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
