shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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