Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
