Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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