You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
