So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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