and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
