We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
