You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
